Wedding ceremony and vows

25 years!

Michael Parris conducted our wedding on the morning of summer solstice, 1986, in a ceremony written by Kerry and Michael. The text reproduced below begins at about the 24:20 mark of the wedding video, after the introductory music and scripture readings:

Wedding, 1986 from Kerry Magruder on Vimeo.

Dear friends, we are here this morning in the presence of God and in the loving fellowship of each other to share with Kerry and Candace this dawn of their new life together, their union as husband and wife.

Marriage was the first institution given for the welfare of the human race. When God created man He saw that it was not good for man to be alone. He made a helpmeet suitable for him and established the covenant of marriage.

Though Adam walked in total harmony with God, experiencing His undiminished glory, God made him to remain yet an incomplete image of his Creator alone. Man, being finite, yearns for a personal relationship with the infinite Creator, but also for the companionship of another creature whose finiteness would complement his own. In both man and woman together the image of God is revealed: male and female he created them, and pronounced: “it was very good.”

Originated in divine wisdom and goodness, designed to promote human happiness and holiness, the marriage covenant is the foundation of home life and social order, and so must remain till the end of time.

Marriage was commended of Paul to be honorable among all men. It is the second most important step in life; only salvation through Christ is greater. Therefore it should not be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, and in the fear of God.

You Kerry, and you Candace, have come to me with confidence in the call of God for union in marriage, and being assured that no legal, moral, or religious barriers hinder this proper union, I allow that if any man can show just cause why this union shall not take place, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.

Marriage was honored by the presence of Christ at the marriage feast in Cana of Galilee, and established by Him as an image or reflection of that great Day when the Bridegroom, adorned in all His glory, shall come for the Church, His Bride, purchased with His own blood, dressed in the spotless garment of His righteousness.

From the Bible we read these words:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy . . . and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself….

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5)

Many people spend a lifetime being self-centered. One challenge of life on earth is to escape the prison of self-centeredness. Jesus said,

“Whoever seeks to save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake shall find it.”

Kerry and Candace, it takes courage to lose your life for another. It’s not easy to let your guard down, to open your heart to reach with compassion when you’re tired or weary. But those who lose their lives, find life. The more you care, and the more intensely you care for one another, the more alive you become. Commit yourselves each day to care, to forgive, to make the first move in reconciliation toward one another. As Jesus commands:

“Love one another as I have loved you.”

Kerry and Candace, the union God now creates between you is a covenant that cannot be cancelled or revoked; more than a reciprocal agreement, it is initiated by your vows this day to die to yourselves and now live for each other. Only your love for God, the source of life and love Himself, should surpass your care for each other.

Kerry, God has entrusted to you the care of Candace, his daughter. Will you love and care for her as God loves her, relying on His grace?

I will.

Candace, God has entrusted to you the care of Kerry, his son. Will you love and care for him as God loves him, relying on His grace?

I will.

God has chosen you both to stand holy and blameless before Him when He returns, prepared as a beautiful Bride together with all the Church, ready for that marriage of consummate glory, the wedding of the Lamb, of which all our earthly joys and longings dimly testify. Kerry and Candace, God has ordained that through this marriage on earth, and your service for one another, Christ’s image in you shall grow to the completeness and holy beauty He desires on that Day.

Kerry and Candace, join your right hands and give heed to the vows you shall make to each other:

I receive you, Candace
as my wife
my dear beloved and beautiful one.
You are bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh
so I forsake all others
to cleave only to you
I will love and cherish you
as Christ loves His Church
giving myself up for you
to lead you in holiness
with tenderness, honor, and respect
as heir with me of God’s gracious life
for better or for worse
for richer or for poorer
in sickness and in health
till death parts us
and we see the face of our Lord.

I receive you, Kerry
as my husband.
My lover, let your heart rejoice;
I am bone of your bone
and flesh of your flesh
so I forsake all others
to cleave only to you.
I will love and obey you
trusting in the Lord
as heir with you of God’s gracious life
for better or for worse
for richer or for poorer
in sickness and in health
till death parts us
and we see the face of our Lord.

Kerry and Candace, with this exchange of vows you are entering a covenant with each other, and with God. Though your way may not always be easy, God will walk with you to renew this union and sustain this covenant, so that together YOUR lives may demonstrate HIS life and glorify Him. Together know God and enjoy him forever, for a threefold cord is not easily broken.

As God gave the rainbow as a sign of his covenant with Noah, have you a sign of your promise?

[Kerry:]

“We have these rings.”

[Kerry and Candace take rings from David and Joyce, give to Mike.]

The ring is a symbol of the love Kerry and Candace have for each other. Its unending circle represents the eternal quality of your love, and the gold represents its purifying fire. As a ceaseless reminder of this hour, and as a seal of the vows you have taken, now give and receive your rings.

[Kerry, memorized:]

I give you my name
and this ring
to wear with joy
as a sign of my love and
vows before the Lord.

[Candace, memorized:]

I receive your name
and give you this ring
to wear with joy
as a sign of my love and
vows before the Lord.

[Kerry and Candace together, memorized:]

Wherever you go, I will go
Wherever you lodge, I will lodge
Your people will be my people
and your God my God.

“Love burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” (Song of Solomon)

“If I surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind. It is never jealous or envious, boastful or proud. It is never haughty, selfish, or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13)

Kerry and Candace, it’s not a minister standing before you that makes your marriage real, but the covenant established in the presence of God. By the authority invested in me by the church, and the laws of this state and nation, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, I take your hands in mine and acknowledge that you are indeed husband and wife!

The exact time of this pronouncement, noted by Ken Turner: 8:42 and 50 seconds a.m.

[PRAYER, Jack Magruder]

The Lord in His grace will sustain this marriage covenant, and guarantee its bond. To turn from Him is to turn from life Himself. He will renew your love for one another as you daily look to Him, for He is the giver of all good and perfect gifts. And as the history of your life together now unfolds, God may entrust you with the gift of children for His care. Receive them as a precious heritage from the Lord, just as your parents received you. Be faithful stewards before the Father, to raise them in the light of His Word, and they will be blessings to you. Build your home firmly on the rock of trust in Him; and the covenant of the cross, sealed with Christ’s shed blood, will unite you in a bond of steadfast love that cannot be shaken, though the world may end.

Kerry, you may K I S S S S S your bride !!!!!!!

[Kerry and Candace kneel to take the Lord’s Supper. Music. Blessings from parents, flowers to mothers.]

You who witness these vows, will you support and uphold this marriage covenant sealed before you this morning? If so, say, ‘We will.”

[Congregation:]

“We will.”

May I present Mr. and Mrs. Kerry Magruder!

25 years!